About travel ...
After having spent far too many hours (days! weeks?!) folded, compressed,
and crammed into the vice jaws called 'seats' on airplanes, waiting in
lounges competing to win the award 'dullest lounge on the planet', in
smokey, sticky taxis whose drivers seem to qualify by missing the
driving licence test as many times as possible, at hotel registration
desks where the sport of the day is to lose as many reservations as
possible, and just trying to make my way to the next conference or
meeting, that is really just an excuse to have lots of beer, and
socialize as much as possible, I have come to recognize a few warning
signs that you're really getting near the limit for travel overdose.
Below you will find the most pressing ones.
You know you're travelling too much, when ...
- ... you know your passport number by heart.
- ... you know before hand what airport gate your flight is going to
- ... you find out that your laptop already has a dial-up
configuration especially designed for the hotel you just checked into
in that city 500 miles from home.
- ... you're stopped in the middle of street by a local resident of the
foreign city, who asks for the telephone number to taxi – and you know the
- ... you have a preference on the local brand of bottled
- ... you know how much money to save to cover for the airport tax
when you leave.
- ... you're on first name basis with the rental car shuttle
- ... you're suprised to see that that airline is trafficking
- ... the air hostess asks to be friends with you on Facebook.
- ... you realize that your front door key is so rusty, it won't fit
in the lock.
- ... when the telephone number to the air port taxi is on speed-dial.
- ... when you recognize the airline agent at the gate, and ask
him/her 'Do you always handle this specific flight?'
- ... when the answer is 'I know. You've flown it as many times as I
have had to handle it.'
- ... when the airline site manager at the airport greets you at the
gate with a worried look and the words 'Good morning, sir! I haven't
seen you for a while. I hope everything is all right.'
- ... when you immediately realize that the terminal shuttle
bus driver at London's Heathrow Airport makes a wrong turn.
- ... when your airline bonus card has a more prominent place in
your wallet, than your super-market discount card.
- ... when flight delays force you to reroute through an unexpected
airport, but once you stop over at that airport you meet people you
- ... when home just means the starting point for return trips.
- ... when the SMS from the airline telling you that your next
outbound flight is now open for checkin arrives before you've finished
your previous homebound flight.
- ... when the taxidriver to the airport says "Yeah, I remember that
from last time I picked you up."
- ... when you're waiting in the general seating area at your
departure gate and realise that you're within range from the WiFi in
the lounge to which you don't have access, but you remember from
previous journeys that the password is usually "this, this, or that",
and it is.
- ... when the keys on your piano are dusty when you get back home.
- ... your occasional vaccination checkup ends with the nurse
saying "No, you don't need any refills. You already have everything
you could possibly need for the coming 10 years!".
Should you find yourself having travel OD, and still have your wits
about you regarding how it happened – please contact me, and let
others benefit from your example.
Special thanks to Patrik Fältström, Dave Crocker,
Michael Mealling, Håkan Madsen, Ed Lewis, Kurtis Lindqvist,
Suzanne Woolf, and Marco Hogewoning.
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